Five Times Ben and Leslie Talk About Children
1. 2.
Read moreeleanorcoxarquette asked: Champion/anyone, dog park
Many dogs spoke of the mythical park where grass was always freshly cut and the tennis balls smelled of bacon, but few had been permitted through it’s noble gates. The poodles looked down upon the more common dogs as they lead their humans toward Pawnee’s most exclusive dog park, but even breed could not save you should you chance to break Miss Meagle’s second rule, as many had learned the hard way.
On more difficult days, when Andy hooked his leash into place, Champion Dwyer-Ludgate, big of heart and lacking of leg, took the long walk around his neighborhood; he stopped to rest his one front paw against the locked gate; and he dreamed.
craponaspatula1 asked: April/Orin, hell.
“Foul, pitiful humans!” the devil shouted toward his newest arrivals. “For years you lived lecherously, ignoring righteousness and indulging in your every sinful desire, and now you must suffer the everlasting consequences in the hellfires of eternal damnation! What say you?”
“Dude, this place is awesome,” April said, gripping Orin’s shoulder as she bounced on her toes. “I can’t believe we actually get to stay!”
Without speaking, Orin stepped forward and wrapped his arms around the devil in a limp hug, resting his pale face on his giant red chest.
galentines asked: Leslie/Ann/April, lady rock band
The reporter flips open her notebook. “Thanks again for agreeing to chat with us, Threeskin. That was an awesome set.”
“Aw thank you,” Ann says, beaming. She moves to link arms with Leslie and April and doesn’t even flinch when April yanks her arm away. “The audience was so great tonight, really.”
“Leslie, can I just say, your make-up looks amazing right now.” Leslie narrows her eyes but the reporter continues. “What products do you use on stage? Our readers would love to know your recommendations.”
A million things race through Leslie’s head at once as the reporter smiles at her blankly, things like ‘is that really an important question?’ and ‘do you realize that April plays drums better than anyone since Neil Peart?’ and even ‘do you think people asked Eleanor Roosevelt what kind of hair pomade she used when she was kicking ass and taking names, because I don’t!’
Before Leslie can decide on which quote would sound best in print while still asserting her own frustrations, April does one better:
“Ew, shut up.”
April was always better with the rock star thing.